The Emergency Room

I managed to lie down for some times. It felt so horribly wrong, my head felt so heavy, hot, weird and ache at the moment. I felt all my body was ill and  so painful. it was so dizzy, unbalance and didn’t feel right at all.

I tried to sleep even though it’s hard with ache all over my body. I felt  cold but my temp is high enough like I’ve got some fever and cold. It’s just ain’t feel right at all.

It’s about 1.30 in the very early morning of the day when I woke up and felt wet and weak and very ill and need to go the bathroom immediately. Too much blood. The bleeding still continuing, it turn out that I step on my own blood. I must have some medical help otherwise I could day running out my own blood. It’s now, no more cancellation , I could die.

The myoma made me like a wounded soldier dying desperately need help. My husband took me to the nearest hospital, about 2-3 kilometers from our house. I lied down on the car seat, hoping it would help me ease a little bit pain and the bleeding.

The nurse asked me to lie down, the ER doctor examined me right away. They applying infuse , an intravenous fluids infusion. It could be dangerous that  I need to stay dehydrated.  They also examine my eyes because it’s clearly how pale it was. A blood test to determine my status held immediately. I waited and try to sleep but couldn’t taking even a short nap. The room was barely strange and comfortless. And the lamps were too bright and strong even when I close my eyes.

Finally they send me out to another room, an inpatient care facility. Firstly, although my circumstances should be observed on an ICU (Intensive Care Unit) room, but I refused to be there. The sound of those life supporting machines really stress me out.  A VIP room so much better, maybe I could sleep better there.


The intensive bleeding on some short interval periods in a month made me lose so much blood. It’s  a simple explanation why I was so weak and limp. Even in a normal periods, usually some women need some more rest or break.

I ate a lot of food to help my stamina, but still it didn’t help much. I also took some blood booster medicine, but it didn’t effect much either. I took some more sleep, I though I  could manage it and just need some more rest to heal. But it didn’t work at all.

Even in a heavy periods, normally I just need some thick napkins, changed after 3 or 4 hours regularly. In turn out that I need to change it immediately  after 30 minutes or just one hour use. The blood run out so quickly. The time was running out. The bleeding is so much uncontrollable.

It was nearly in the middle of the night when I need to go to the bath room and change my feminine napkins. It’s so horrible, the bleeding was so bad. I changed my pajamas, it was so much blood on the napkins even some clot on the floor. It was so scary. I sat on the toilet to gain some more strength. Then I tried to reach out the door knob but felt so exhausted and so light and unbalance that I need to lean on the wall. I lost my consciousness and fell down to the floor. My husband heard something went wrong and rush to knock the door but I remained silent and lied still consciousness on the floor inside. How did I know?

Later after 5 or 10 minutes I regained my consciousness and managed to stand up, leaned on the wall again and watched some of my own thick blood clot on the floor. What a mess. I managed to come out.



It’s getting worse

It was getting worse, my second experiment  on the medicine I took was gone bad. Well, actually it happened right away after I finished the third bottle of 3 times daily take after meals.

My periods went completely wrong, horrible and could lead to dangerous situation that threaten my own life. Normally, my periods come about 25-26 days. Since I took the garlic cloves herbal, it turn out to be very heavy and full blood clot. It’s very new and scare me. It also made me feel weak and limp.

I am a mother of two. My little girl  a 14 years girl still is in Junior high school.  My daily routine after preparing the breakfast is drive her to school. And  pick her up late in the afternoon. I was too limp for everyday chores. It’s embarrassing but mostly I just want to lie down, take a rest and have some sleep.

Of course it’s not my fault, it’s my circumstances that made me so weak. Imagine a wounded soldier got shot in a battle. Some one must press the wound strong, otherwise he will  loose too much blood and die. The normal blood loss during a periods it’s around 30-40 milliliter. and around 60 milliliter on heavy periods. In my circumstances, it was more than 60 milliliters and it happened in a very short interval.

My periods turn to be 3-4 times in a month. How come? My gynecologist told me that it’s the uterus that made a thick layer of blood and reacted to the myoma inside as a non recognized substance my uterus contracted to send it out. That’s the explanation of the painful contraction and cram during my periods.

I still  didn’t realized that was a critical phase that must be observed by my gynecologist or the other doctor intensively. I realized that something bad happened my body couldn’t hold it any longer.


The Second Trial

I put a side the cucumber juice and took the medicine my gynecologist gave me for about 10 days. Not sure if it work good or not, but I wasn’t feeling a good and significant improve on my health. I switch to another option, the single clove garlic and some natural herbals emulsion. It taste a bit tangy, weird and smelly, but who care if you need the the goodness inside.

My periods become much heavier than usual. There a lot of blood cloth and tissue on the napkins. The herbal medicine I took, mostly for detoxify the toxin in my body out. I don’t know which organ toxin from. If you took the alternatives medicine, usually they’re not clinically test and proven. Of course there’s some local wisdom about the healing property that a plant specially have and develop for its own shake. Garlic for example,  they have a lot of health benefits  inside,  beside rich in flavor. It may lower cancer risk and cholesterol. It also has anty-inflammatory effect also improves insulin sensitivity. What a lot of goodness in that miracle herbs, a truly heaven gift.

I hope the second herbal choice I took give a lot of healing property benefits my health. Of course it’s sound like an experiment. But why didn’t give it a try? Since it’s still hard for me lying on operating theater to remove my uterus out . Just imagine went under the knife made feel pain and scared.

Actually if I could choose, I still considering that the herbal medicine is the natural way my body can adapt to most. I truly am prefer the natural way because I have allergic reaction to some medicine and some substances. I though that the best way  to stay safe was avoid the triggers. Well I know that I must take some risk, but if it for our own shake, why not?


The Denial

I feel good and optimistic that at least I know the situation. I did some on line research, read a lot of article and publication about the myomas. Luckily myomas mostly non cancerous. It grows in uterus during the childbearing years.  Some women have symptoms some don’t so it went unnoticed. That’s why on some cases, it was  too late and it could lead to cancerous growth.

But surgery is scaring and it’s not simple  thing. not an everyday moment that happened without any cause. I think the idea of hysterectomy it self stress me out. There some alternatives medicine especially with herbal or natural medicine. I hope it work and doing good on me.

First thing first my result about the alternatives medicine that I choose is the slimy sea cucumber juice. It taste a bit weird but still smell okay. Not bad. but even it taste horribly worse, if it has the healing property, why not? If you in my position, of course you can go to the doctor, do exactly like you  had to.  in my case, I just want to do my part, my intention is to avoid the surgery. It didn’t feel right and it’s my choice to postpone the surgery my gynecologist order me to. Well I don’t find any big difference. But on  my second visit to the doctor, indicated a bit swelling so the gynecologist gave me some antibiotics.

My periods still normal and regular, it means around 25 days and heavy bleeding for 4-5 days. I get use with heavier periods and I though it’s normal for my age as pre menopause and aging process. Little did I know that it’s the myoma inside my uterus that cause heavy bleeding during the periods.

When I looked back at how my previous years it used to be heavy but not so heavy that my IUD threw out from my womb. I just realized that it could be the growing myoma that made my Intrauterine device, as my birth control device, couldn’t no longer cope the myoma’s growing inside.



Surprise is a surprise, weather is good or not. I was shocked with the diagnose from my gynecologist that I had to remove out my uterus, my womb because the  myoma  fibroids  was too big and risky. Oh my goodness, hysterectomy is way to big and shocked. I am 47, in a good health, thanks God but to lose one of my organ, especially a feminine organ that differ me as a complete woman, although I have already been blessed wit two beautiful yet smart daughters it’s not an easy thing. I think I need to rethinking it again and again.

Myoma Fibroids, myoma geburt, myoma uteri there’s a lot of articles you googling but basically most woman have them. It just bothering or not. Some women have heavy bleeding in their periods, cram, pain, some just have normal periods with a little fuss. It really unique and very individual symptoms. Although most woman have myomas in their uterus, it doesn’t mean a very bad condition and they can have n live peacefully with them without hesitation.

Some woman even don’t care much about the situation and finally know it was too late for medication. Of course there some choice if they don’t want a surgery procedure. But still it considered to be dangerous n painful to keep. Imagine how shocked it was when you though that everything’s fine, undercontroll and normal. It’s just almost heavy periods, cram and pain that we get used to. Then the gynecologist the myoma inside is too big and must removed out immediately.

I think I need some time to ensure my self.  it doesn’t important why and how now but for sure I must take some actions, not juat let it be and let it go. It doesn’t matter how, it must be gone as soon as possible.

I wish I could known my own body better